Once upon a time, there was a mom who was so inspired by Maria Montessori and play-based learning that she dreamed about homeschooling her own children one day. That dream, was just a dream, for four years. It just seemed irrational to give up her career when it was about to take flight, and choose to walk and live by faith and depend on only one income.
Fast-forward, that dreaming mom is now going into her third year of home education, since she responded to God’s calling in the summer of 2017.
That year was devastating for our family. Not too long after we celebrated the new year, Em was walking wobbly, her hands so shaky that she couldn’t even hold a pencil or carry a cup of milk with spilling. As a mother, my heart was broken for her, and I felt helpless. Her neurologist couldn’t find any problem, but her back pain continued to be unbearable. I never knew that not being able to run around with friends was such a punishment for a child. I never saw a child so depressed and anxious that the only thing she wanted was to hide in the darkness. But God so loved our family that He provided a way out for us.
When I was teaching at Em’s school, the pastor saw me in the hallway and said, “You know, sometimes when kids are stressed out at school, they react like that.” I believe that’s when God answered my prayer because now everything seemed to make sense! I left my teaching job at the end of the school year and spent all my time to prepare for our first homeschool year.
My dream finally came true, although if I had a choice, I wish my child didn’t have to suffer like that in order for us to say “Yes!”. But God knows me so well, He knows that I would only take the next step out of such desperation. And, His plans are always good.
Looking back, it’s amazing to know that He planted and tended the seed of our homeschool journey ever since I was a teenager. I worked as a private tutor for little kids, as a math tutor at college, as a mentor to graduate students, as a school teacher, as an online TA… I have accumulated more than 20 years of teaching experience even before we started to homeschool!
I am also thankful to have homeschool friends and mentors along this journey. After two years, I finally can confidently plan for the new school year knowing that things will be okay. Even when my plans fail, God will carry me through and fill in the gap of my inadequacies. I have grown so much in many areas in just two years, and I understand my children and their needs much deeper than ever before.
To the world, I have sacrificed everything to preserve the soul of my child. To me, nothing is more important that my primary calling as a mother. I’m so thankful that I said “Yes” in the summer of 2017. Today, Em is a healthy and delightful child living to her full potential – a ballerina, a pianist, a reader, a writer, an artist, and my best friend and helper at home. It is all worth it.